I’m not a fan of small talk, but I engage because I’m not a complete asshole. That said, I recently had an encounter with a guy that clearly had an agenda on his mind, but he needed small talk to break the ice apparently. The conversation went on for a solid 15 minutes, which in retrospect, is absolutely ridiculous, but the dude had a lot to say. So, I’ll skip the rest of the pleasantries and get straight to the setting.

We were at the rather expensive Disney Enchantment Nighttime Spectacular in Las Vegas. It rained that day, so it was a damp, 48 degrees outside, partly cloudy, with the sun recently setting. I’m walking up some stairs, my daughter, her friend, and my wife in front of me. Once I arrived at the landing, they continued walking but there was a security guard standing there so I nodded my head to say, “what’s up”. This is a common greeting between Black guys that don’t know each other. 

Security Guard: (Instead of returning the head nod) Hey can I ask you a question?

Me: (incapable of avoiding sarcasm) Let’s make it two (considering he forced the first question on me)

Security Guard: (Looking off into what could have been nowhere or the food row) Do you think this is normal”? 

Me: (Unsure of what he was talking about) This is my first time here, so I’m not really sure what it’s normally like.

He looks at me as if I’m trying to sell him drugs

Security Guard: Nah man, the weather, do you think the weather is normal? 

Me: Oh, I mean it rained a little bit and it’s December so the cold makes sense to me. Why? Do you feel like this weather is abnormal? 

And with that, anything one would perceive as socially normal for this interaction ended.  

Security Guard: (Aggressively states) Nah, this ain’t normal man, this is God punishing us for the wicked ways of man”. 

Me: I looked at him like he was mainlining heroin in front of me, but didn’t say a word, which he took as an invitation to keep going. 

Security Guard: People have been locked in their homes for 2 years, people keep talking about climate change (in air quotes) and pardon my French, but this shit ain’t normal. 

Me: (Sensing a conspiracy theory coming) Well, climate change is legit considering global temperatures have been going up nearly in unison with mankind’s increased dependency on fossil fuels. Not sure how the weather is related to COVID, I’m sure… 

He interrupts

Security Guard: Man can’t change no climate, only God can do that. If you pay attention to what’s really going on, winter, spring, summer and fall still come when they’re supposed to and the summer is hot, the winter is cold, and the spring and fall are what they are. How do you figure man is changing climate when the seasons are still showing up?

Me: (Looking around for the cameras) Well, the Earth is still traveling around the Sun, tilted on its axis, as such, the seasons still show up. 

Security Guard: I ain’t talking about science, I’m talking about God bro.

Me: Ahh OK then. God put the Earth out there and tilted it on its axis…

Security Guard: Nah man, this is because of how wicked and evil men are.

Me: Word?

Security Guard: You believe in science huh, you think science had something to do with COVID or do you think God is punishing us?

Me: I don’t believe God and Science are mutually exclusive, there’s definitely a scientific explanation for COVID though.

Security Guard: Bro, science is lying to us to make us not believe in God, it’s in the Bible bro, they’re doing this because they think they’re better than God, so we all gon’ suffer for what these devils are doing?

Me: Wait, so you’re saying the Bible warns us about scientists?

Security Guard: Yeah, false prophets and shit.

Me: Ahh OK, you got a phone?

Security Guard: Yeah, why?

Me: Science brought that about, along with most of the things we all use in day to day life. 

Security Guard: You go to church?

Me: Nah

Security Guard: You should bro, it’s a lot of information you are missing out on while you give glory to science, you should be giving glory to God.

Me: Word, I’ve been to church many times in my life…I know exactly what I’m missing, which is why I don’t go.

My daughter and her friend walk up to save me from this conversation

Me: Aww man, it was good talking to you I gotta get back on my dad duties.

Security Guard: Believe in Jesus Christ bro, that’s all I gotta say.

Me: Aight my man take it easy. 

Security Guard: If you’re hungry though, that hotdog stand is hitting.

Me: Aight man take it easy. 

Those were the highlights of the conversation. He touched on people watching us through the security cameras, various bible verses and all the stuff that is being hid in books as well. Though this happened in December and was written right after, that conversation inspired the topic for this week.